


the sun rises

by sugacookiies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst to Fluff, Domestic, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27776896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugacookiies/pseuds/sugacookiies
Summary: you and matsukawa issei both see each other as the sun in their lives -- only with the sun can living beings have life.
Relationships: Matsukawa Issei/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	the sun rises

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [When The Sun Rises](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/718990) by Xin. 



> ᴀ/ɴ: sorry for the wait, but here is the fic! it’s a rewrite of ‘when the sun rises’ <3 i hope you enjoy it, i really had fun rewriting this and seeing my progress
> 
> ʙᴇᴛᴀ: @reddriot @sunarashi

matsukawa issei doesn’t want to see you. not after he’s decided to tear you off of him like a used bandaid, not after he’s shattered your heart into a million different pieces. but the irony is that bandaids leave behind sticky residue that get everywhere the more you try to rub it off. 

and sometimes, unhealed wounds too. 

matsukawa’s taking a morning run around the neighbourhood when he sees you from a distance away. he’s usually not one to exercise voluntarily, but the guilt that had been choking him made gasping for air a much more palatable choice. 

he pauses.

his shirt sticks to his sweaty skin, mouth dry and thirsting for water as he stands there. you’re still in your pajamas and holding the leash of your pet dog, tofu, in one hand. matsukawa doesn’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful.

the morning sunlight casts its rays across the land, gently warming and illuminating the world. you’re standing in the midst of it all -- golden, bronze, copper and all shades of brilliance, entirely unworthy for him to stand before. 

matsukawa somehow manages to turn around and run in the opposite direction he had come from. he can’t get involved with you again, not after all he has done. his worn sneakers relentlessly pound the pavement and his breathing is laboured. 

there’s a tiny thought in the back of his head that another reason why his heart is beating so quickly is because of you. 

matsukawa tries to focus on the burning in his thighs above everything else. the sun begins to scorch the morning mist away, while the soreness in his legs and heart grow. 

it’s laughable, really, how he imagines he can forget about you like a candle snuffed out by the wind. what matsukawa doesn’t realise is that the sun could never forget the moon so easily.

* * *

  
  


you’re not really sure whether matsukawa has told oikawa and iwaizumi about your breakup yet. though, considering how you were forced into a study session with the seijoh four by a particular brunette, you suppose he hasn’t. thankfully, hanamaki was more than glad to sit between the two of you after some bribery with a box of strawberry pocky. 

shifting uncomfortably in your seat, you try to find any mistakes in the mathematics equation that you simply can’t seem to solve. matsukawa’s incessant clicking of his pen makes things a lot harder to focus on, however. you wish you were oblivious to the reason for his bad habit. 

he’s distracted. by you, of course.

click. click. click.

irritation bubbles up inside of you, pressurised by unsaid words and suppressed emotions. you think that with just a single more ‘click’, you might just collapse inwardly and perhaps start screaming at everyone around you. the grip on your pencil tightens impossibly.

all of a sudden, hanamaki slams his face into his textbook with a loud groan. he’s gotten another science question wrong and he moans about giving up. why study, anyway? what’s the point of graduating? he’ll get to play volleyball for another year, too!

the clicking stops. 

iwaizumi rolls his book up and smacks hanamaki’s head with it. you giggle behind your hand as the two engage in another argument about whether or not high school is that important, all the while oikawa is trying to get everyone to shut up so that you don’t get kicked out of the library.

you glance over to see whether matsukawa is laughing along at their antics. his eyes meet yours, yet look away just as quickly. you freeze. he pretends nothing has happened and offers a smart quip back to iwaizumi and hanamaki, making both of them burst into chuckles. 

you avert your gaze too late. you can’t help but replay the way matsukawa had looked away from you over and over in your head. why was it so easy? had those years together been for nothing? hot tears pool in your eyes, and you excuse yourself briefly to the bathroom.

the more you try not to think of him, the more you do. morning always comes with the darkest night, though, so maybe you just need to wait for the sun to rise one more time.

it has to.

it has to.

  
  


matsukawa hates how your eyes still linger on him in the worst possible ways. he knows you watch him leave class the moment the bell rings for lunch break, when the english teacher gets too boring, and definitely when you think he doesn’t notice you.

it can’t mean anything. perhaps his height just makes himself eye catching, or maybe you’re really just that bored by vocabulary and grammar rules. you’re doing it out of habit and not on purpose. of course, of course.

of course.

matsukawa tries to reason with himself that the thumping in his chest whenever he sees you must be about nothing. he’s just a little hung up on you still, that’s all. nothing to worry about. or that’s what he’d like to imagine. 

hanamaki keeps pestering him about getting back together with you. it was just a small issue! fix it before it’s too late! you’re still in love, i can tell! yes, yes, yes, hanamaki, you must be right. you’re definitely right. 

yes, it was just a small issue (that had grown into something too big to handle). yes, matsukawa could choose to fix his relationship with you right now (but he’s too scared to). and yes, he’s still in love with you.

matsukawa’s head swims with thoughts that he drowns in. it’s a cancer of You that festers and brews in him, metastasising when he’s up all night thinking about you, you, and you. it’s pretty hypocritical. matsukawa thinks that you shouldn’t be so hung up on him still, but he can’t get you out of his mind.

he doesn’t deserve someone like you. matsukawa’s terrified of dulling your luster, that you will become so much lesser than what you truly are. despite this, he wishes for you to be with him. matsukawa wants to kiss you under the stars on a date, to wear matching wedding bands with you, and to grow old and wrinkly together. 

you really are the centre of his universe, around which all things orbit.

  
  


you suppose that if matsukawa finds out that you are still in love with him, he will ask you to kindly smother them once more. as much as love is a choice, you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to all things related to matsukawa issei. 

“why don’t you find someone better?”

you remember his nonchalance, hands shoved into pockets, staring down at you with hooded eyes. 

“find someone better than me?”

you were shocked by matsukawa’s words. your relationship had been smooth sailing so far, so… why? why had he suddenly said all of this? it was almost the end of high school, and you two had started dating in your first year. had the past three years meant nothing to him?

the both of you yelled. you cried. he walked out of the room.

he didn’t turn back.

(he cried too.)

regret fills you to the brim, making you stand on the tips of your toes just so you can breathe. you wish you had paid more attention to matsukawa. oftentimes small issues are brushed aside thoughtlessly, but dust settles silently on all things. once you discover its presence, it’s difficult to clean it all up.

you can never rid yourself of him no matter how much you try -- the moon can only shine with the sun’s light.

  
  


it’s a wednesday morning when matsukawa is still reminiscing about his relationship with you. he holds a polaroid up to the light of his phone screen. you’re pressed cheek to cheek with him, a gummy smile on your face. it was during the summer festival when this was taken. hanamaki was sick of playing a third wheel with you two all the time, and was complaining the entire time. he only shut up after you bought him a tray of takoyaki.

matsukawa traces the outline of your face with his finger. suddenly, a text notification pops up on his screen. it’s from you. he opens it without hesitation even as he drops the polaroid and he gulps.

the date of your last text send to him was over a month ago, a day before he had broken up with you. matsukawa didn’t have the heart to delete all of your message history, or change your absurd contact name. 

cheesy meatballz 🥵🍝: are you awake?

matsukawa pauses, wondering if replying you would really be the right decision. his heart trips over his brain in a rush to reach the finishing line first.

You: Yeah, what’s up?

cheesy meatballz 🥵🍝: can you come downstairs? im outside your place

you don’t take long to reply at all. matsukawa glances at the time on his phone. it’s 3.15am, far too late for him to go to bed and way too early for a walk outside. he shrugs on a hoodie over his pajamas and slides his feet into a pair of slippers.

you’re standing outside in your set of banana sweatpants and matsukawa’s old pe t-shirt. his heart skips a beat. your hair is tousled by the wind and you’re shivering in your thin clothes. 

“can we take a walk?” you whisper, voice hoarse. the edges of your eyes are rubbed raw.

matsukawa takes his hoodie off and stuffs you inside of it, watching your face screw up as it pops out of the neck hole. cute, he thinks. only then do you two start your walk at a forbidden hour down familiar streets bathed in yellow sodium lights. 

it’s that particular morning where matsukawa’s fingers find themselves intertwined with yours once more and stuffed into his hoodie pocket. under the watchful eye of the rising sun, he takes the second chance you offer him.

he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. 

  
  


the first date that matsukawa takes you out on after you get back together is at a diner near school. it’s one that seijoh students often frequent and probably not the most romantic, but you don’t mind. 

you sniff the air. it’s filled with the smell of a dozen different dishes, all cooked fresh by the round faced husband and wife pair that run the diner. you squeeze into a seat opposite matsukawa, excusing yourself past other students.

chatter fills the air and you wave shyly at hanamaki, who sits at a table with oikawa and iwaizumi. he gives you a knowing grin and a thumbs up. matsukawa ignores them and orders for the both of you -- you’re surprised he hasn’t forgotten your order yet. as always, he has a cheese hamburg steak with some cola.

when matsukawa slides back into his seat, the both of you stare at each other for a few seconds. you crack a smile and he starts laughing, embarrassed. it doesn’t take long for the awkwardness to thaw off. 

how was the literature test, why is oikawa squinting at us? you fall back into a familiar rhythm with matsukawa, and it’s easier than you’ve anticipated. his gaze softens and he reaches for your hand under the table. he’s always been a little shy to show you affection in school. at most, matsukawa would sometimes offer to carry your bag.

you take his hand and squeeze it. he smiles, cheeks turning pink.

you hope that the sun never sets.

“i love you.”

blood rushes to your cheeks as yours lips remain parted, half in shock and half in delight. you clutch the chip bowl in your lap a little tighter, turning to look at matsukawa. his face is red as he continues to stare at the laptop screen that’s balanced between the both of you.

“say it again,” you whisper.

matsukawa turns to you, staring into your eyes before his gaze flits away nervously. his lips are pressed into a single line. 

“i love you,” he repeats and offers you a hopeful smile.

you put the bowl aside and pull matsukawa down into a kiss. it’s a little messy as your lips collide, noses bumping and teeth clacking together along the way, but you wouldn’t have given it up for the world. matsukawa’s hands cup yours over his cheek when you finally pull away.

“i love you.”

his heart trembles in his chest. you feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“i love you.”

you gently stroke his cheekbone with your thumb and kiss him again, this time much more gently.

“you’re cheesy, issei.”

“you like it.”

laughing, you kiss him again. again and again and again. howl and his moving castle are forgotten in the background as you murmur the same three words to each other repeatedly that night, coupled between kisses and hands that fold over each other like wings of a bird after flight. a perfect fit.

the night isn’t so dark when the moon reflects the sun’s light. matsukawa thinks he can last through any darkness as long as you’re around. 

  
  


years pass faster than you imagine. 

matsukawa stands at the end of the aisle, his curls somewhat tamed by hair wax and his stylist’s complaints. he wears a stunning three piece suit which had been tailored at oikawa’s expense, after matsukawa had joked about renting a suit for the wedding. you make a mental note to thank him afterwards.

matsukawa thinks he might cry. he watches you walk down the aisle, clutching a bouquet of flowers both of you had picked out together. queen anne’s lace for ‘sanctuary’, white chrysanthemums for ‘devotion’ and pink roses for ‘joy’. they all represent what you wish for in your future together. 

you’re gripping the bouquet so tightly your fingers tremble. matsukawa smiles when you finally come to a stop before him, reaching out to take your hands in his after you pass the bouquet to hanamaki. 

oikawa is trying his best to hold back his tears but you’re pretty sure he might start bawling at any moment. hanamaki’s eyes are already red and sore. you think matsukawa made a good choice in making iwaizumi the officiator -- he looks more ready to fight matsukawa to make sure he’s fit to be your husband than to start sobbing in the middle of your vows.

“hey,” matsukawa says softly. 

you smile and squeeze his hands. “hey,” you reply.

you begin your vows with a shaky voice, trembling as you read off of the slip of paper you had prepared beforehand. matsukawa bites on his lower lip, but doesn’t fare much better when it comes to his turn. 

“...with my faults and weaknesses, my shortcomings and my imperfections, I promise to share my joy and my strength, my love and my honour with you always. I pledge myself to you; to love you fully and wholeheartedly, to care for you through sickness and in health, and to take you as my partner for the rest of my life.”

matsukawa’s far too focused on finishing the vows to realise that tears are rolling down his cheeks. you try to wipe them away, but he flinches as you get nearer, and end up poking his eye. 

“and i- ow, shit!” he curses as the crowd begins to laugh.

you’re clutching your sides as you giggle as well, but you’re crying at the same time. it’s all a hot mess until iwaizumi somehow manages to reign everyone back to the fact that they’re going through a wedding ceremony, and after making sure matsukawa hasn’t suffered any injury.

matsukawa misses your finger with the ring exactly four times because his eyes are misty. he groans, leaning his forehead onto your shoulder. definitely not the way he had wanted his wedding to go. you eventually have to make him hold the ring still and slip your finger into it.

you kiss him.

your heart leaps into your throat and you can’t stop the tears that slip down your cheeks.

  
  


“‘sei, look. she won’t let go of my finger,” you coo.

in your arms, you hold your newly adopted daughter, kiku. she grasps at your thumb with newfound curiosity and saliva dripping down her chin. she squeals as matsukawa leans to kiss her forehead tenderly, giggling and kicking at nothing.

maybe going through all that red tape was finally worth it. kiku’s brown curls tickle her forehead and you take special care in holding her in the car on your way back home. she falls asleep in your arms.

matsukawa and you are afraid of parenthood. it’s a long, painful journey ahead, but you have each other to see you through it. both the sun and moon control the earth’s tides, and it’s going to take equal efforts from either of you to make things work.

matsukawa has to pull the car over because you can’t stop crying. he transfers kiku to the baby carrier in the back and holds you close to his chest. you bawl into his t-shirt, clutching at him as he rubs your back.

“you’re gonna wake her up,” matsukawa jokes.

“i-i…” you stammer and bring a hand to rub at your eyes. you sniff. “i’m just so happy to be doing this with you, ‘sei.”

he plants a kiss against your hairline.

“me too.”

  
  


“do you have your bento?”

“yup!” 

“your water bottle and hand sanitiser?”

“yes, papa!”

“all of your pencils and your jacket?”

“i’ve got everything, papa. don’t worry so much!” 

kiku’s ponytails bounce with each step matsukawa takes. she’s bundled up into his arms, while you hold onto her school backpack. today’s her first day of school, and matsukawa seems more nervous than her.

he’s always been that kind of guy -- showing concern without words. you reach over and place a comforting hand on his back.

“and remember, if anyone asks you what papa works as…?” 

“papa works at a company that sells homes to people!” 

“that’s right. you’re so smart, kiku. good girl,” matsukawa grins while you roll your eyes.

homes? permanent ones, you suppose.

matsukawa holds onto you a little tighter than he would have liked when the teachers lead the students into the school. kiku disappears amongst the other children and you have to convince your husband that barging inside to make sure she’s okay is not a good idea.

matsukawa relaxes that night, however, when he comes home to kiku excitedly tells you the friends that she made over dinner (and spitting rice everywhere). she even coloured in an octopus! matsukawa gets up from his seat to place it on the fridge. 

  
  


“i did it!” kiku shrieks, waving the acceptance letter in the air.

you and matsukawa cry along with her, clutching each other as you crash into a group hug. you think this must be what family and love is, when you’re tearfully pressed cheek to cheek and shaking each other by the shoulder to make sure you’re not dreaming.

you make sure to prepare a special dinner for kiku to celebrate, and matsukawa invites all her favourite uncles along, too. everyone whizzes about the kitchen preparing ingredients and sipping champagne from various mugs. 

the octopus drawing remains up on the fridge, though the colours are faded from time that has passed. 

even oikawa joins in from argentina! he’s a little sleepy (and you think that he might have had a hookup last night), but eats his breakfast alongside you having hotpot in japan. hanamaki dumps the entire brick of frozen meat into the pot at once and iwaizumi threatens to disconnect oikawa when he makes fun of his tummy chub.

the house is filled with laughter and joy. you reach for matsukawa’s hand under the table. the night wears on, but there’s no rush to leave. why do so when you’re already content here? hanamaki and iwaizumi crash on your sofa and spare futon, cheeks pink and eyes glazed over from the champagne and beer.

matsukawa even remembers to ‘kiss his bros goodnight’, to which they grumble and whine that he isn’t cute enough to kiss them. you almost tip over your glass of water as you laugh. matsukawa makes you kiss him to make up for his bros ignoring him.

you fall asleep that night, head buzzing from the alcohol, entangled in matsukawa’s arms.

  
  


things got a lot quieter when kiku went to university. it’s no different now, when she’s overseas working. it’s not like your little family is disconnected, though. you video call her often, and sometimes she sends gifts back on special occasions.

matsukawa has taken to filling up the empty space at home by adopting onion, as if the old shiba could ever replace tofu or kiku. at least, it gives you an excuse to have morning walks with your husband.

the dog trots alongside matsukawa as you take your usual route through the neighbourhood, leash in his hand. not many people are awake at this hour. matsukawa relaxes and breathes in the crisp air, ears attuned to the rustle of leaves and the chirping of birds.

he holds your wrinkly hand in his. 

your steps are slower now, a result of a hip injury a few years ago. matsukawa insists it’s fine to just stroll but you know he misses his youth too. years fly by and beauty fades, but love lasts when it is true. 

you slow to a stop at the edge of a street right before you turn to head back home. the wind tousles your hair, clouds drifting like watercolours running across a page. the sun begins to rise over the horizon. 

light spills from the boundary between the earth and sky as it paints a dark canvas shades of red, orange and yellow. you have to squint to even get a good look at it. streaks of light pierce the clouds and you and matsukawa stand, enthralled. onion pants quietly.

there’s no one else you could ever wish for to replace the man that stands next to you, although his hair is greying and wrinkles crease his forehead. you think the white spots in his eyebrows are endearing, anyways. of all the experiences you had gone through in life, there had been no better partner.

the sun begins to scorch the morning mist away. it’s laughable, really, how matsukawa hadn’t imagined that you would be the one he was going to spend his entire life with. 

as if the sun could forget the moon so easily.

the sun rises, and a new day begins -- another day with matsukawa by your side once more.


End file.
